Rykken's Mom Has Got It Going On....

Yeah Right! This past week has been the most exhausting week I have had in awhile. Work has been insane, Rykken has been really sick, and I am still just trying to recover from traveling, not to mention I am getting ready to move which is sickening. The one thing in this world that I hate more than grocery shopping is moving. The good thing is, I am moving somewhere where I will be staying for at least a year and half...no more moving every six months from apartment to apartment. Praise! After starting the daunting task of going through everything I own to prepare for the move I have decided I am a very organized hoarder. I mean...I find things that there is no necessary reason for me to have, but yet it is very much in a designated place put away in my house, like 3+ years of bank statements...of a bank account I don't have anymore. BUT....they are nicely smoothed out and organized in date order in a file folder. I also have decided that 60+ t-shirts is a little ridiculous to have in my possesion. Being part of a sorority during my college years...if thats what you would call it...had me convinced that I had to keep every club t-shirt designed during those four years. Awesome. It felt very refreshing to fold them up nicely and shove them in a bag to get rid of. It just reinforces...that, that time in my life is over...and I NEVER want to re-live it :) ... sorry if that offends you...you can just close my blog out now.

I made two new years resolutions this year. The first and most important is to be a better mom by trying to have more patience, and accept having less control. The second is the very cliche...get in better shape, eat better, and try to lose my baby weight....(or post baby weight that I have gained since Rykken was born...don't ask). It's now January 19, and I haven't worked out...not even brisk walking. I haven't eaten a vegetable, and therefore...I haven't lost any weight. I intend too though, eventually. I keep using Rykken as an excuse, as I'm cooking my 410 calorie box of mac and cheese on the stove, I tell myself...."it's cool...he won't remember all the crap I ate when he was this little and throw it back in my face when I deny him french fries one day." Once again I really do have every intention of starting to eat healthy and try to cut out fast food, because I don't want Rykken eating it, therefore I can't eat it, but of course I haven't made it to that step yet...but yes...say it with me...I have every intention too.

I have had a lot on my heart since I came back from Michigan these past couple of weeks. I have just realized how much I hate being away from family. It's hard because I have my whole life planned out...supposedly...where I am now. I mean down to where Rykken will be attending school....since I work at a private university, a private christian K-12 school offers a 75% discount to employees at my university. Incredible, I know. It just feels like I am in a position where I have an awesome job with awesome benefits and Rykken is well taken care of because of it, but I am out in the middle of no where with no family around. Just me and the boy. Oh well, I guess eventually in your life you just have to settle, no matter what the circumstances and make a life for yourself.

A friend and I have been talking about how differently things are compared to just a couple of years ago, when we were still in school. How things in the past, at the moment they were happening seemed so huge. Now looking at my baby I laugh...I laugh at how much I gossiped about my so called friends and how they gossiped about me, I laugh at how my sorority petty drama seemed to make my world collapse, how sleeping all day and staying out all night was the norm, how I fought with friends over dating the same guy, how the only reason we really went out was to take pictures to post on facebook or myspace to prove our popularity...(okay so I still semi do that...well once...laugh it up) I will admit...college molded me into the person I am, my closest friends in school helped me find myself....it was the time of my life...until Rykken was born. In his short 5 months with me, he has far surpassed any and all of the best times I had in school. Now...he hasn't surpassed some of the best conversations I have had...yet :) To say the least, and I know I have already said this in my other blog...but I'm saying it again...my life is just so much bigger and better than ever before.