My Season of Thanks

Unbelievably...it's that time again. The time of year when you get to go home and spend time with family and friends and spend massive amounts of money on food, traveling, and toys. Not to mention the years you take off of your life while eating all the rich, delectable holiday food and treats. I for one...have my Christmas tree already set up and the stockings hung with care even though we are still a couple of days out from Thanksgiving. I just can't stand it! I get too excited to wait! I love the way the tree makes my house feel.

As excited as I get about making sure Rykken has a wonderful holiday season sometimes I tend to get stressed and overloaded with making sure I am keeping up with the Jones' when it comes to my celebration. This year I have decided to make a few changes and stop trying to grasp for what I feel Rykken wants, what we have to do and have, and focus more on what we can do and what other people need instead of us. Truth be told...Rykken and I need NOTHING. Did I mention Rykken has two....yes two rooms full of toys. So...if Santa doesn't bring him as many goodies as usual...he will not notice. That being said, I want to use this post to give a shout out of what I have to be thankful for and not focus so much on what I am wishing for with the holidays upon us.

I am most thankful that I have been able to rekindle my spiritual journey and relationship with Christ these past couple of years. God has continued to show his mercy on me
and my child and I will forever rejoice in him.

I am thankful that I have a healthy beautiful child. A child full of love and compassion. He has a purpose and a soul bigger than I could have ever imagined and I know he is destined for great things. I don't know how I was picked to be his mom, but I only hope I can be the person he needs me to be. I am beyond blessed that I get to wake up to that smiling face everyday.

I am thankful that I have a job that nurtures my faith daily and assures me that I am working towards a purpose greater than myself. ACU is in the business of changing lives and I am blessed to be a part of this community.

I am thankful that I have a family that loves Rykken as much as I do. He is a lucky little boy to have such a large extended family who spoil and love on him all the time. They have exceeded my expectations as grandparents, uncles and aunts, and I am so thankful to have them in our lives supporting us every step of the way.

I am thankful that I have been able to connect with a group of women from church. I have been attending The Journey UMC since June of 2008 and have recently been lucky enough to fall in with a group of young mothers with similar backgrounds as mine. We had no idea what we all had in common until the 2nd or 3rd week of us getting together. Our small group was truly formed by the Lord, we couldn't have planned it any better.We meet once a week and it is usually the highlight of my week. I am so blessed to have an outlet to talk about the trials of parenthood while studying and worshiping.

I am thankful that I have enough to be able to give to others. I wish I could do something for every hurting person, but I am beginning to realize that encouraging words, prayers, and even just a hug will give someone just what they need even if it is not a material object. Abilene has so many amazing ministry's...Noah Project, Love & Care Ministries, and Alliance for Women and Children just to name a few.

Most of all...I am just thankful to be here, to see my baby grow another day, to get to experience another breath and another sunrise. To know that we are taken care of and to pray for those that are not. So if Santa decides to skip our house this year, that's okay, that just means there was someone who needs that visit and encouragement a little bit more,
and we will rejoice with them and for them.

Stage Mom...

Take 1

Take 3

My Favorite Pictures from San Diego...

The Single Mother's Prayer...

My God, I have such a wonderful child, a most precious gift I do not deserve. My heart melts into joy each time he looks at me, each time he calls me “Mommy“. He would embrace me and kiss me and all my troubles will disappear in a moment. Nothing else matters except his laughter and the brightness of his eyes. You know I would give him everything. I would give him the world if I can only do it. Gladly would I sacrifice everything for him, even my own life if need be so.

He brought me hope, he gave my life direction and a meaning I’ve never known before. Surely Lord, you have saved me through this child. Through him you have made known to me how much you love me.

But I am not worthy O God. I feel so incapable of taking care of your most beautiful gift to me. For what can I possibly give this child? My failures? My brokenness? My shameful past? What can I teach this child? How can I mold him into the person he was meant to be? What shall a single mom like me pray?

Yet you gave him to me, you’ve brought him unto my cold and shaking hands. Surely you must know my weaknesses, yet you must have also known I would call upon you to help me and to provide for the things I cannot do.

Help me O God. Heal me of my wounds so I may not pass on to him my bitterness. Heal me of my insecurities that I may teach him how to have confidence on himself. Blot out my sins that he may not be cursed for mistakes he wasn’t even aware of, and so that he can have a wonderful future ahead of him. Fill my heart with love even if I’m all alone. For how can I possibly give away that which I do not have? It is not easy indeed to be a single mom. Grant me wisdom. Grant me strength to face a harsh world so I can provide for him and give him everything he needs. Say unto me Lord that I am not alone for you will be my Husband, and you yourself will be his Father. This child is blessed, this I know, and I thank you for all that you have ever done and all that you have in store for us from your boundless mercy and unceasing love.

To all the single moms out there, I salute you. I hope that this prayer of a single mom somehow resonates the true prayers of your heart and inspires you in believing that the answer is sure to come, and is certainly on the way!

"M&M pees" -Rykken

Rykken used the potty this weekend. Yes it's a dribble, No I am not pro-actively potty training. But still...WOOT!

Rykken...show me

surprised

your smile

scared

excited!

Two Years!

My sweet love,

We have made it ANOTHER year! I am overfilled with joy that my little baby is 2 years old! This past year passed by quicker than I anticipated and it was a whirlwind of a year! You have changed and grown so much that I can't even comprehend. This time last year you had just started toddling around, but wasn't confident walking yet, and now you are running and jumping with charisma and glee! You are talking more everyday and showing compassion and affection to others around you. You have such a sweet and well tempered spirit and you truly bring me the most satisfying joy, contentment and pride that you are my baby, my son, my little boy! I can't even express how proud of you I am! You are truly a miracle and a blessing and I love you so much! When I look at you, you consistently remind me of what I have to be thankful for and how lucky I am to have you! I look forward to the next year and what it will bring!

Rykken helped water the dirt... lawn today in the backyard. I turned around to find that he had slipped in the mud.

So being the good mom I am, I rushed to grab my camera instead of rushing to his rescue.

He gave me the classic Smyer glare when I asked him to smile for a picture.

Chuck E. Cheese....Eh

I took Rykken to Chuck E. Cheese for the first time this weekend along with Cassie and her family. It was...."eh". Here are two cute pictures Cassie took of the boys on the kiddie coaster. Rykken apparently shares my dislike for roller coasters.

Reading Curious George

Rockstar Rykken

As we all know...I get side tracked...okay mostly bored with things quickly, or I suppose some could say I am the type of person who starts things and then tends to never finish them. I am guessing those that follow my blog have thought that perhaps that is the case here...but I'm back! I changed the template on my blog and am feeling re-inspired. So beyond the fact that it has been SEVEN months since I have given an update, I suppose now is the most appropriate time. Rykken will be two in two weeks and this last year has flown by. It seems like I was just blogging about him turning one. Ha...how things change and this past year has been nothing like I had predicted. A few things I didn't expect....I bought a house in late February, I re-claimed my beloved dog after a year of her living with my mom due to Rykken's birth, I reconnected with an old flame and then disconnected with him again, I have watched Rykken learn to walk, learn to talk, and learn to show affection and compassion. I hit a very very low point and have hit some of the highest points of my life thus far. So, yes the last year especially the last seven months have been crazy incredible.




Some updates on the cutie patootie...like I said he will be two on August 16th, he is a ball of energy (all of the time). He is one of the happiest little boys I have ever known. He is always smiling and laughing and one of his favorite words is "hooray", if that tells you anything. He is talking quite a bit, he says simple phrases like "What happened?" and "I did it!", and my personal favorite...."I love you" which is most often pronounced "I low ooh". He also says an incredible array of words and will repeat any and everything I say. At this point in his life...Thomas the Train is EVERYTHING to him. He loves that train and talks about Thomas pretty constantly, and wants to wear his train pajama's every day, and tries to push our dog around from behind shouting "choo choo!". He has hit his picky eating stage and will only eat select foods including green beans, mac and cheese, spaghetti, cereal bars, peas, and grapes. He consistently answers with cake, cookies, or ice cream if I ask him what he wants to eat for dinner. He is very curious about the potty and using the potty but not quite ready to actually work on potty training. He occasionally wears his Elmo underwear and says "momma...cool!" But I haven't pushed it further than that yet, the time is coming soon as I don't think its a good sign that he brings me his powder and asks me to change his diaper and use powder. If he is big enough to be requesting special order diaper changes...he is big enough to be using the potty.

I promise I will try to keep up with blogging and as soon as I clean my house I will take pictures and post those as well. :)

Jump....Jump....Jump Around

Today we decided to try out The Jump Around with my friend Cassie and her little boy Grady. It was...interesting. It is just a couple of blow up houses in a big room. They had a section for toddlers with two small bounce houses and a play house. The boys enjoyed it, and Cassie almost had to take another mom down for not watching her kid and the kid putting Grady in a headlock. Good Times.

You are Captivating

I have been having a really rough past week, I feel like this is one of the worst weeks I've had in awhile. It feels like my world is partially falling down around me from different areas of my life, and it has all hit me finally, at once. I came across this quote from the book You are Captivating: Celebrating a Mother's Love By Stasi Eldredge and it knocked me to my knees.

"Every cry out to God in the midst of weariness and loneliness and sorrow for the strength to love; for the wisdom to discipline well; for the grace to respond with patience; for the help to soothe the ache in your heart, deepens His presence in your soul and changes you ever more into the woman you desire to be; the woman you are becoming . . . the woman you were created to be."